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Blessed by the Best and Highly Favored

So dear friends things aren’t always easy when it comes to marriage. (If you haven’t figured that out yet.) However, if we choose to look at our blessings rather than our problems our perspective can entirely change.

I’ve been helping my friend Trina get a house ready for moving. Her friend lives in another state and the mom and grandma will be moving there soon to be closer to family. Trina was telling me how much she still had to do so I thought “hey I like to go through stuff.” Did I mention I love to go through antique stores to find treasures? Haha I love history and always wonder how something was used or who used it or how differently life was lived in the “good ole days.” I could spend time with my friend and learn some more history considering the grandma is 96.

The first day I got there I thought wow we do have a lot of work ahead of us, but being the optimist I generally am I thought no problem. (Insert face palm here.) What I didn’t count on was falling in love with this Italian family we were helping. I always wanted to be a part of an Italian family! I love her accent and the mom puts up with me trying to mimic it and totally butchering it. Haha So my friend and I worked ourselves ragged cause we love them and truly want God to bless them.

After nearly 2 weeks straight we got everything ready for our first sale. Trina was telling me how much she owes me but I was like isn’t this what we are supposed to do? Bear one another’s burdens and so fulfill the law of Christ. That’s what the Good Book says anyway.

After the first day of the sale I got home, took a much deserved shower, put on my pjs, ordered Chinese, my wonderful son picked it up and we ate. My husband, David, who’s on a shutdown at his plant right now came home not 30 minutes later, walked into the kitchen, and promptly asked, “What’s all this?”. I went to the kitchen and there was water all over the floor. Yikes!!!

About 3 weeks ago we had a major freeze here that pretty much crippled Texas. We are NOT built for that kind of weather. We managed to get through with no pipes bursting by the grace of God or so we thought. We immediately thought a pipe had burst and David turned of the water at the main then went to the attic to check. Fortunately, it was a small leak. Unfortunately, it had already dripped so much the sheetrock under the leak was destroyed. I thought, “I do not have time for this.” We still have much to do this week to finish up the move.

Now I could’ve stopped right there and just cried and had a pity party. Instead I was thankful this happened after my husband had gotten home and he was able to address it immediately. He gave it a temporary fix and decided to permanently fix it today after church.

I went to bed exhausted and considered skipping church but I knew I needed the refreshing of the Holy Spirit more than ever. It seemed God was speaking directly to me and Trina throughout the whole service. It was such an encouraging worship session and message that I felt so renewed as did Trina.

David took me to eat at one of our favorite restaurants. We came home, took a much needed nap, and then he got up to work on our pipe issue on his only day off. I walked into the kitchen, looked up, and cringed. I’ve been working on my kitchen to create a space where I would love to work and all I could see was the big hole in my ceiling plus all the old nasty insulation and sheet rock dust on the floor.

I sent a picture of the mess to Trina with the crying emoji. She sent me a much needed reply that it could’ve been much worse and to be thankful that David has the skills to take care of the problem.

So I walked back into the kitchen and took the pictures at the top of this page. Pictures of the man that has been nothing but supportive as my own house has gone awry while I helped my new Italian family with theirs. The man that works 13 days straight with one off in between during shutdowns to make sure we have not only what we need but also what we want. The man that loves God with all his heart and therefore loves me the way I should be loved. The man that has so many skills I can’t even keep count of them all. This man has flaws and sometimes drives me crazy, but definitely the one given to me by God. Recently, God has given me new eyes to see this man in a different light. It’s all about perspective. I could be bitter about my kitchen and the things David does that irritates me but I will choose to be thankful. And that fills my heart with love instead of bitterness which feels so much better!

Everyone that knows David knows his response when asked how he is doing. He always replies, “I’m blessed by the Best and highly favored!” So today I choose to count my blessings and remember that the God who saved me is also the God that will keep me.

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2020 and Toilet Paper

As 2020 comes to a close it seems only fitting that I write something about the role of toilet paper(pun intended) in this very different year that we have had. In a masked and sometimes fearful world which we have found ourselves, it is beneficial to stop and look at the positives of this season in our lives.

When the pandemic hit for whatever reason fear drove people to the grocery store and toilet paper completely disappeared off the shelves! Why? Who knows? But it vanished all the same. Fortunately, my household had an abundance at that point as we shop at Costco and buy our beloved Charmin there. In fact since my parents were visiting right before our world was turned upside down I bought a package before we were too low thinking we might need it as we had two extra people in the house. As the year progressed toilet paper was much easier to find and things became a little more “normal”.

Recently, I walked into the bathroom and I came face to face with “it”…an almost empty roll of toilet paper just waiting for me to switch it out…again. My husband has this talent for leaving a tiny bit of toilet paper on the roll and starting a new roll. The kicker is he leaves that almost empty roll on the holder pretty much every time and the new roll sits waiting to be placed where it belongs.

As I began to change it for what seemed like the thousandth time I became a little bit irritated. It was in that moment that God revealed something to me…I still had my husband alive and well to perform these little “irritating” acts.

I then began to look back on this year and realized there were others not so fortunate. Many lost loved ones…either to Covid-19 or to other causes. My uncle lost his long time love, my precious Aunt Ruby, and I imagine he would love to change out the toilet paper roll for my aunt just to have her near.

My perspective changed and in that moment I was glad I was able to serve my husband in this small act. As I took off the old roll and put on the new one I also got rid of my negative outlook and adopted a new attitude of thankfulness that my husband is around to “annoy” me in such a way. One day I might walk into the bathroom to discover a full roll of toilet paper only to be wishing for a near empty roll.

So as this year comes to a close look around at all the blessings you have. Life is short and we must live it to the fullest as we enjoy the wonderful people that surround us. Love lavishly and forgive freely.

By the way, I’m finishing up a short trip to visit my parents. When I walked into the bathroom after arriving guess what I found…an empty roll of toilet paper. I just smiled.

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Building Houses

Yesterday David and I set off on quite the adventure. Last February we booked a cruise for this week. It’s the K-love cruise so both of us being musicians and the fact that we would be on board with several Christian artists was right up our alley! You can definitely say we’ve been looking forward to this trip for some time now.

Things started off rather well. We got up early, finished our packing, had our daughter drive us to the airport, checked in, ate lunch, got through security and to the gate with plenty of time to spare. More than we even knew…our flight had been delayed.

We were supposed to take off at 1:40 pm. When we settled in at our gate everything was on time. Then came the dreaded announcement that our plane was having some maintenance and would not be ready until 3:00. Ok, not too bad. I can hang with that. Around 2:30 the announcer declared we were still on for that time so I decided now was the time to put my Dramamine to work. Immediately after ingesting said medicine came another announcement stating how very sorry they were but our time was once again moved. This time to 4:30. No problem. We had met others that were headed to the same cruise as us and enjoyed visiting with them.

Yet another announcement informed us we needed to switch gates and our new takeoff would be 4:50. Ummmm ok. Meanwhile the coffee I had didn’t agree with me and I had to make several trips to the bathroom. Wow. What a day!

After switching gates we met a few other fun travelers and visited some more. We always enjoy talking with others from different parts of the country. It’s nice to know we are all truly connected in many ways.

David pulled out his ukulele bass and proceeded to play. I only wished I had a piano to keep me entertained. Then I remembered I could download a keyboard to my iPad and soon we were playing a few songs together in the middle of the airport. Since music helped bring us together when we met, it’s always a good thing when we play together.

Finally at 6:00 pm we were pulling out of the gate and headed down the runway…4 hours past our original departure time. Oh well. Our flight wasn’t full so we had some extra elbow room and I got in a little nap. We touched down 2 hours later and we were off again!

After a quick stop to the restroom I exited to see my sweet husband praying for a lady in a wheelchair. She and her husband were so appreciative and I was blessed to see my other half ministering in the airport.

We collected our luggage and I scheduled my very first Uber pickup. Our driver was there quickly and whisked us away to our hotel! Yes! Finally I was going to get some rest after a very long day!

David’s sister and brother in-law met us outside the hotel and escorted us to our room. We visited for a bit and then we were all going to turn in for the night.

I went to my luggage to get what I needed to prepare for bed…did I mentioned it poured in Houston before we departed? Much to my chagrin my whole suitcase was soaked. I had one shirt with water stains I had to wash out and the majority of my clothes were dripping wet. Seriously?!? I just wanted to go to bed.

There were no dryers at the hotel so David and I proceeded to hang up clothes to dry. It took longer than I wanted but it had to be done. After a short trip to his sister’s room for extra hangers we finished that task and headed to bed.

David began to rub my back, but his hands were rough and I started to complain his hands were tearing up my skin. (I have a little flair for the dramatic.) This was after several other times I had snapped at him for various things. I mean my clothes got soaked and his were bone dry! What’s up with that?

Now I had done it. I knew immediately I had hurt his feelings. He was just trying to make me feel better. At this point of the night I had 2 choices. Let him hurt and get some much needed sleep or use my words and actions to heal instead of hurt.

I switched on my lamp, walked to the suitcase, and got out the lotion. I went to his side of the bed(where he had retreated), took out some lotion and rubbed it into his hands. See my husband’s hands are rough because he is a welder by trade and he works very hard to provide for his family. Must of the time I appreciate those hands, but this day had gotten the better of me.

Wives, we have the ability to make or break our husbands. I could have turned over and easily gone to sleep, but Jesus set a very different example for me. He served. He washed feet for goodness sake!

As I rubbed the lotion into his hands I could feel his tenseness go away. He began to relax and we were able to not let the sun go down on our anger as Paul says in Ephesians.

Proverbs 14:1 says a wise woman builds her house, but a foolish one tears it down with her own hands. I don’t know about the rest of you, but I want to be that wise woman! However, to be the wise woman we must be open to doing the right thing even after a crazy day.

I’m thankful I took care of that right away and didn’t let it fester overnight. Was I too tired to make the effort? Yes! Did I feel like getting back up? No! Was it necessary to make amends? Absolutely! Ultimately in everything I do I want to please my Heavenly Father. I believe he was pleased in that one simple act and will bless me accordingly.

Friends let’s choose to be the wise woman! May God give us the strength and ability to do His will in our marriages.

Ready. Set. Build!

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Marriage on Two Wheels

Recently I began riding with my husband on the back of his Harley. I was a little nervous at first, because…well quite frankly because I’ve ridden in a vehicle with him. We’ve had our share of disagreements aka full blown arguments over the way he drives. Sometimes I think he believes he’s a race car driver. That being said I’m not a scaredy-cat. I’m a tree climbing, rollercoaster riding, roof walking, taking chances kind of girl. But putting my life in the hands of my wannabe racer husband was a little out of my comfort zone. However, I began to notice how careful he was when he rode so I decided to take the plunge. Also, I thought how cute I would look in my leathers! So off we went!

This was not my first time on a bike, but it had been a few years. Ahem, maybe 25 or so. I also rode 3 wheelers as a teen so I understood the importance of shifting your weight and balancing. It seemed right away we worked well together on this huge bike of his. On one of our very first rides together I started thinking how this was great marriage counseling! Here’s a few things that I noticed.

David right after he bought his Harley. He was so excited!

First, I had to follow his lead. Anyone that knows me even a little knows how headstrong I can be. So in life I can tend to get out of my place in our relationship and try to take the lead. This causes so much discord and confusion. Now sometimes David wants me to take the lead on certain things. He is a smart man and knows my strengths. But by and large one of my major issues is following the lead of the husband God placed in my life. Before you say, “Dianne, that is old school!”, let me remind you how our Heavenly Father set up marriage and that the husband is the head of the home. God didn’t conjure this up to press women down. He set this in place so we would be protected. Husbands have a heavy load to bear when it comes to taking responsibility for their families. They will be judged accordingly one day. When we ride David is at the front and I’m behind him. I have to trust he knows where we are going and he knows best how to get us there. I have to admit it’s much easier to do this on a Harley than in real life. However, if I truly trust my husband then I can manage this in day to day happenings.

Secondly, we HAVE to work together! Remember that weight shifting thing I was talking about? If David leans to the left, I can’t lean to the right. Well I could, but it would be counterproductive and could even cause us to wreck. If we don’t move in harmony, it’s going to be a rough ride. The same principle applies to marriage. If we are constantly pulling in our own direction and moving towards different things our marriage is headed for a wreck. We need to have common goals and desires. And what a beautiful thing is a marriage where 2 people are working together!

Lastly, this brings us close, like real close! My primary love language is physical touch. When David spends time hugging me or putting his arm around me I’m flying high! This man of mine, however, sometimes forgets this since his love language is acts of service. He’s always on the go and rarely sits still longer than a few minutes at a time. I always joke about how most women complain that their husbands come home from work and just sit. I can’t get mine to sit down! He always has something he feels he needs to do. I am grateful though that he makes sure things around here are in working order. When we are on that Harley though…I get to hold on to him and sit close to him for as long as we’re riding! Bonus points because he enjoys our rides together. He will reach back and rub my leg and for someone that has physical touch for their primary love language it’s like a slice of heaven.

We’ve had people tell us to sell that Harley and buy a new car. There is no way we’re doing that! This is our fun time together that we BOTH enjoy and it brings us closer. That’s one thing we aren’t gonna wreck!